The Spatula Test: The Lost Lemon
by Cerberus Revised
Summary: Addendum to "The Spatula Test: This is for all those fangirls and boys who wanted to see what happened behind that closed door at Pandasan. Egoist, featuring cameos by Akihiko, the Pandasan Staff, and Yukina from Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi. Rated "M."
1. Chapter 1: The Set Up

Title: **The Spatula Test The Lost Lemon**  
>Category: AnimeManga » Junjō Romantica  
>Author: Cerberus Revised<br>Language: English, Rating: Rated: M  
>Genre: RomanceHumor  
>Published: 06-22-11, Updated: 06-23-11<br>Chapters: 3, Words: 4,877

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Chapter 1: The Set Up<strong>

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><p><strong>The Spatula Test – The Lost Lemon: Getting It On At Pandasan<strong>

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><p><strong>If you haven't read "The Spatula Test" yet, I encourage you to, at least chapter's fourteen and fifteen. The end of chapter fifteen is where the lemon in chapter two here starts up.<strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica or any of Jonjou Romantica's characters or Sekia-ichi Hatsukoi's. The Pandasan girls are mine though- in all their fangirl glory. **

**Rated: M or NC-17**

**Contains: Occasional harsh language, Sexual situations**

**All I get from writing this is the creation of my own and hopefully others pleasure. This is dedicated to OneWingedEggplant and JemCarstairs **

**I hope you enjoy it and as always, any feedback is greatly appreciated.**

**Sincerely,**

**Cerberus**

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><p><strong>Chapter One: The Set Up<strong>

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><p>Hiroki and Akihiko were having coffee at the cafe across from the flower shop where Nowaki worked. The purpose of their meeting was twofold.<p>

For Hiroki, this meant looking at Akihiko's new manuscript and spying on Nowaki.

Ever since Hiroki's mother's visit, Nowaki had seemingly become far more secure in their relationship and his jealousy, while still there, had much abated.

On the flip side of this, for every notch that Nowaki's insecurity had gone down, Hiroki's had in equal measure gone up. It didn't help that the florist shop had recently hired two new trainees: cute, playful, college boys who seemed completely smitten with Nowaki and Hiroki didn't like this one bit.

For Akihiko, the dual purpose of this conference was to have Hiroki look at his new manuscript and to see if he couldn't pull from his old friend any tidbits about the kind of perversions the professor had been engaging in with that giant of his. Akihiko had a new BL novel to write and he was looking for inspiration.

The author had learned long ago there were two ways to get honest information out of Hiroki without the man realizing what he was saying. One was to get him drunk, which was expensive and a bit dangerous. The other was to talk to him while he was reading or typing something: Hiroki would tell you almost anything and then promptly forget it.

"So, I imagine that having your mother stay with you put a bit of a crimp on your love life for a few days." Akihiko looked over his mug at the furrowed brow of his friend and unofficial editor, as Hiroki began waging war on his prose with a red pen.

"Not, hardly," Hiroki snorted, engrossed in the pages. "Nowaki and I rutted like rabbits the whole time she was here." Hiroki said this deadpan without a hint of blush. "No pun intended," he added, referencing both Akihiko's own insatiable reputation and the ridiculous nickname given to him by his barely legal brat.

"Oh, really?" Akihiko tried not to sound too interested. "Anything new or out of the ordinary?"

"Are you trying to live vicariously through the exploits of others, since you can't get that boy toy of yours to give it up to you anywhere other than your condo or the occasional back seat shag?" Hiroki did not looked up from the manuscript while issuing this comment.

"Am I to infer from your insults that you and that brat of your own have become more creative in your lovemaking venues, as of late?"

If Hiroki had bothered to look up, he would have immediately noticed the distinctly feline squint of Akihiko's lavender eyes. If the man had had a tail, it would have been twitching dangerously.

"Well, Nowaki and I did have this fantastic round in the men's room at Pandasan."

"Isn't that a family restaurant?"

"Well the dining room may have been 'G' but the restroom was definitely rated 'X.'"

_Not a bad line to open a chapter with,_ Akihiko mused.

Hiroki looked up at his friend suddenly. Akihiko's eyes widened with the fear that maybe Hiroki had at long last caught on to his tactics. He exhaled an in audible sigh of relief when instead, Hiroki just scowled at him fiercely.

"You couldn't possibly have meant to write this sentence this way. I've read it three times and it still doesn't make sense." Hiroki held out a heavily marked page for Akihiko to peruse.

What Hiroki didn't know was that Akihiko purposely peppered his draft with just such sentences on purpose. They made the most perfect distractions.

"I'll correct that later,"Akihiko started to say, but he could tell that Hiroki had already moved on to another page.

Akihiko took out a pen of his own and reached for the tiny notebook he kept in his jacket pocket. He leaned in towards his oblivious companion.

"So, Hiroki, why don't you tell me what made that particular fuck so special?"

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading and please review!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2: The Main Event

**02/13/13**

**So this is a reposting of this fic, my very first FF Lemon. **

**I moved it to YFF when FF began enforcing its no MA content rule last summer. Due to popular demand I am returning it here. If you have an issue with the content or are not of a suitable age please click out of this fic now. **

**I humbly request that if you take offense at my work that you please PM me rather than report this to FF, so that those who enjoy reading these pieces may continue to do so.**

**Warning: Egoist Sex**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Chapter 2: The Main Event<strong>

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><p><strong>AN: So this back tracks a bit into chapter Fifteen of "The Spatula Test" after Hiroki's heated phone call with his father moves him to lock himself in a stall in the Pandasan's men's room but then the rest of the story is added on.<strong>

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><p><strong>Getting It On At Pandasan<strong>

**Chapter 2: The Main Event**

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><p>Nowaki scanned the small space of the Pandasan men's room.<p>

The bathroom appeared to be empty. No one was standing at the sinks or the urinals. He stooped down and looked under the short row of stalls at the end of the room. He didn't see any feet. Still, his Hiro-san radar told him that Hiroki was in here somewhere.

He glanced back at the door and noticed that there was a bolt lock on the inside of it (so that the staff could clean uninterrupted during business hours). Long fingers reached out and locked the door.

Then, he moved over and began going down the short row of stalls. The first two were open; the last one, however, was locked.

This was one of those moments when Nowaki blessed the gods for his height. He hooked his fingers on the edge of the door and peered easily over.

Sure enough, there was Hiro-san, but… Nowaki was incredibly dismayed: he could not recall the last time he'd seen his lover look so small or so sad.

That Hiro-san should appear thus, while his own heart overflowed with the joy brought on by Sasaki's revelation, filled him with a sudden almost unbearable pain.

"Hiro-san?"

Hiroki looked up startled by the sound of Nowaki's voice suddenly overhead. "Gaaaahhh! What the hell are you doing there?"

It brought Nowaki a moment of relief to see Hiroki's usual irritation push aside some of his previous despondence. "I was looking for you. I saw you through the window and it seemed like you were upset. What are you doing there? Are you okay?"

Hiroki could read the concern clearly in the blue eyes peering at him over the stall door.

"I was thinking!" Hiroki was terribly self-conscious that Nowaki had seen him in such a humiliating posture. "Can't a man get a moment to think in private around here?" He got up indignantly and pushed his way out of the stall. The strength of the stall door's swing caught Nowaki and knocked the man backwards.

"What were you thinking anyway, Nowaki? What if I had been doing something? How embarrassing!"

Nowaki followed Hiroki over to the sinks. Even though he had not done anything, Hiroki still felt compelled to wash his hands.

"Hiro-san..." Nowaki spoke to his lover's reflection in the mirror. "We live together… We do things to each other… It's not like there's much of you I am unfamiliar with."

Hiroki turned, splashing water on the younger man behind him. "Pervert! That's disgusting!"

"I know." Nowaki gave Hiroki one of his sly puppy smiles.

Hiroki uncharacteristically wiped his dripping hands on his shirt. "Ugggh! I have no idea what you are thinking and I don't want to know." He grimaced reaching for the door. He pulled the handle.

_Why won't the stupid thing open?_

At the same moment he was entertaining this question, a pair of strong arms wrapped around his tense frame almost pulling him off his feet. Nowaki buried his head in the back of his neck and began kissing it hungrily.

"Nowaki! What the blazes are you doing? What if someone comes in?"

"The door's locked, Hiro-san," Nowaki whispered into Hiroki's ear.

"I am not about to do something as low as having sex in a men's restroom, you jackass!" Although, if Hiroki was truly honest about his past, if this did happen, it would not exactly be a novel experience. He tried furiously to wriggle out of Nowaki's grasp, only to end up somehow facing the younger man, his own back pressed against the tiled wall.

Nowaki caught his hands and pinned them up over his head. Hiroki still struggled to get out from under his grasp, but it was to no avail. Nowaki leaned in and his lips caught Hiroki's. He pushed his tongue inside, tangling their two slick muscles together. He licked the roof of Hiro-san's mouth.

Hiroki's struggles suddenly became more violent at this invasion, but only for a few moments. Then they slowed and gradually ceased all together. When he finally stopped resisting, Hiroki felt Nowaki pouring his love into him. The strength of it flooded his body, pooling in all of his hollow places.

When Nowaki finally broke off the kiss, Hiroki looked stunned into the bottomless depths of his boyfriend's dark blue eyes.

"What's gotten into you, Nowaki? He panted.

"Hiro-san, why didn't you tell me? Nowaki gasped, equally breathless.

"Tell you what?" Hiroki had no idea what the big lunatic was talking about.

Nowaki released Hiroki's wrists and moved down gently capturing his face between his large hands. "Why didn't you ever tell me you came here and waited for me the whole year I was gone. Why haven't you ever told me you wait for me even still?"

"What!" Large eyes bulged and Hiroki's face suddenly turned thirteen shades of crimson. "Who told you that?... I mean don't be ridiculous!"

"Sasaki-san told me," Nowaki purred, a dreamy look coming into his dark eyes. "It was so beautiful. She said you would sit across from our table reading the same book every week." A slightly puzzled expression flitted across his brow. "Why didn't you sit at our table, Hiro-san?"

Hiroki dropped his eyes. He couldn't believe Sasaki had told his secret.

_God, I am such an idiot._

Hiroki wondered how many other closet romantics had ever suffered the indignant demise of being drowned by the depths of their own sappiness. He had every intention of denying everything and returning later that night to burn Pandasan to the ground. Then he glanced up at the dark head leaning over him.

Hiroki could not remember ever seeing Nowaki look so happy, and this was a guy who looked idiotically content most of the time. He looked off to the side. "It was easier for me to imagine us there if I could see the table," he mumbled. "Besides… I could never sit there without you."

"Oh, Hiro-san, I love you so much!" Nowaki beamed; he picked up Hiroki and spun the two of them around together.

"Dumb-ass, put me down! I'm getting dizzy!"

Surprisingly, Nowaki immediately complied setting Hiroki's backside of the edge of one of the sinks.

He draped his arms over the other man's shoulders and pressed his forehead against his professor's perpetually furrowed brow.

"Hiro-san?"

"Yes," Hiroki growled, scowling up at the big dork.

"Can I ask you one more question?"

"Maybe."

"What was it you were reading all the time when you would come here?"

"No."

"No, what?" Question filled Nowaki's eyes.

"No, dumb-ass, I refuse to quote poetry to you while standing in a public toilet. I can think of nothing less romantic…"

Watching Nowaki's eyes widen, realizing what he had just said, Hiroki felt like an even bigger dumb-ass himself.

"You were reading poetry and thinking of me?" Nowaki breathed.

"Look don't go getting all school-girl on me okay, Nowaki. It was a moment of weakness."

_Yeah, a moment of weakness that lasted an entire goddamn year._ Hiroki cursed under his breath. _Jeez, could your eyes possibly get any sparklier, Nowaki ?_

"Hiro-san," Nowaki pulled back slightly to better look at his lover. "That's so beautiful. It's just like in one of the novels you read." Nowaki leaned back in and this time caught his lover's mouth and kissed it very gently.

Hiroki could taste the joy on Nowaki's lips.

He thought about Nowaki's statement in contrast to the earlier words of his father and suddenly he smiled.

Nowaki was surprised that Hiroki did not immediately get angry with him for his advances. Instead, his boyfriend's hazel eyes stared at him curiously. "What do you think you're doing now?" Hiroki blushed and bit his lip in anticipation of his lover's response.

Nowaki gave his Hiro-san a joyfully wicked smile. "Getting ready to write a scene for a whole other kind of novel."

Seeing that Hiroki's rare smile didn't falter at this comment was all Nowaki needed. He pressed himself between Hiroki's thighs rubbing up against the other man's groin. One of his large hands slid down the back of Hiroki's jeans cupping the curve of a firm ass cheek and lifted the professor up off the ledge of the sink. His other hand crept up the back of Hiroki's shirt, stroking well-defined shoulders.

"Hmmmmm," Hiroki looked at Nowaki inquisitively. "And what type of novel might that be?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Maybe something by your friend Yayoi? Something for his next Nowaki and Hiroki 'fiction'…" Nowaki replied. Then he suddenly stepped back, looking at Hiroki curiously. "You know, Hiro-san, sometimes what Usami-san writes is awfully close to..."

"I wouldn't know anything about that!" Hiroki's forehead furrowed in indignation. "I never read that garbage!"

Not wanting to lose the mood, Nowaki slipped into his silky voice: the one that made Hiroki's toes curl.

"Well, this is just the kind of thing he would write about."

Hiroki's furrow softened. "And how would he write this scene?"

Nowaki leaned back in. He put his large hands on the edge of the sink on either side of Hiroki's thighs, essentially trapping him. In his best voice he began to recite, his body followed his words perfectly.

_"Nowaki whispered, his voice husky with desire, into the ear of his adorable older lover. I can't help it, Hiro-san, you are just too cute. I'm afraid I'm going to have to fuck you senseless. You might as well just give up now."_

These words and the feel of Nowaki's hot breath sent a wave of chills up Hiroki's spine.

Hiroki issued a slight gasp, as Nowaki leaned in and gently teased his earlobe with his teeth. Nowaki then began trailing light nips down the side of his neck. The dark-haired youth licked across his collarbone.

"_No, don't! the sweet professor protested_." Nowaki said this in between breaths, as his tongue darted out tasting the tender flesh of Hiro-san's throat. He allowed a kiss to linger on the sweetness of Hiroki's Adam's apple. He scraped his lips along the bottom of his jaw.

Nowaki raised his head and looked into Hiroki's eyes. "_Despite his resistance, Hiroki's eyes were filled with desire. Nowaki used his mouth to crush out any further objections_."

Nowaki took Hiroki's face between his two large, warm hands; he buried his lover's mouth beneath his own.

Hiroki was overwhelmed by the passion of the kiss and rather than fighting, opened himself up. He felt Nowaki's tongue slick against his own.

One of Nowaki's hands dropped down and grazed Hiroki's taut belly. His fingers traced the line between the man's bare flesh and his jeans. Hiroki couldn't help but moaning. He tried to suck Nowaki's tongue back into him as the other man disengaged.

Nowaki took the bottom of Hiroki's thin sweatshirt and pulled it up, revealing skin already branded with the marks of his love. Rather than take the shirt entirely off, he just pulled the front up and over Hiroki's head, leaving his boyfriend's shoulders and arms trapped in the fabric of his garment.

Stepping back, he admired Hiroki's well defined torso. He ran his large palms over his lover's pectorals. "You are so beautiful Hiro-san," he breathed, his eyes heavy-lidded with lust.

At these words, Hiroki felt his whole body flush. Nowaki traced the pattern of his previous love-marks with his hot mouth, his lips finally coming to rest on one of Hiroki's alert nipples. He teased this with his teeth, and delighted in the hiss this elicited.

As he continued to lavish the buds of his lover's chest with these oral attentions his hands reached down and deftly disengaged the front of Hiroki's jeans. He was pleased when his lover lifted his hips to help. Nowaki slid the older man's briefs and his pants down off of his slender frame; the denim slipped down with a sensual "swish," pooling around Hiroki's ankles. Freed from the confining cloth, Hiroki's dick jutted up towards his heaving stomach.

Hiroki embraced the welcome shock of the sink's cold porcelain against the heated flesh of his backside. He gripped the edges of the sink with his long fingers, bracing himself as Nowaki's dark head sank between his legs.

Nowaki clasped Hiroki's thighs with his large hands and pushed them open. Hiroki was exquisitely tortured by the feel of Nowaki's labored breaths on the sensitive skin of his shaft.

Nowaki nuzzled his lover's soft, full sac. His tongue tasted the sweet flesh and he took turns teasing one ball and then the other gently with his mouth.

He pulled away for a moment and studied Hiroki admiringly. "By the gods, I love your cock, Hiro-san."

As if to prove this, Hiroki felt the younger man's mouth suddenly dip back in and his tongue traced a thick vein. Nowaki began licking him eagerly from base to his pearling slit. Then Nowaki slipped his mouth over Hiroki's pre-cum slicked tip. Nowaki began to bob his head between Hiroki's legs, drinking his lover's length all the way down. He reached up with one hand, seeking again, Hiroki's tender chest. Instead however, Hiroki caught Nowaki's hand between his own and brought it to his lips, pulling his lover's fingers into his mouth, sucking them hungrily.

Nowaki's blue eyes gazed up at him and he smiled around Hiroki's dick.

Hiroki eased himself off of the sink, bracing himself against it, as Nowaki's now spit-slicked fingers found his entrance. One finger traced his pucker before it made a gentle inquiry into his eager opening and slid in and out a few times, preparing him.

Nowaki's skilled hands knew his lover by heart. He easily found Hiro-san's internal sweet spot and began stroking it. The sounds of pleasure Hiroki tried to keep caged in his throat escaped, emerging in soft moans and ragged gasps.

Suddenly, much to his frustration, Nowaki withdrew. "Not yet, Hiro-san, I want us to come together."

Nowaki was shocked by the raw hunger is his Hiro-san's eyes. Even more so, when the man seized him by his shoulders and pulled his face to his for a fierce kiss.

Hiroki could taste himself in Nowaki's mouth. Then, he dropped down to his knees himself.

He, was hardly ever this bold, but spurred on by his desire and his impatience; Hiroki quickly relieved Nowaki of his trousers and went to work with his mouth on the younger man's aching dick. His fine-boned finger's cupped Nowaki's heavy sac; one long digit reached back and grazed the man's sensitive taint.

A low groan built in the giant's broad chest. "Enough," Nowaki gasped.

Seeing Hiro-san's amazingly large eyes look up at him in surprise, almost drove him over the edge. He pulled out of his lover's mouth with a wet "pop." He leaned down and pulled Hiroki up, turning him around and bending him over the sink.

Hiroki grasped the front edge of the basin and shuddered as Nowaki slid his saliva-slicked cock into him in one achingly slow but fluid push. Nowaki was too inflamed to slide in in increments.

Hiroki, bit back a gasp. He was always amazed by the strength of the sensation of being filled by his lover, and of Nowaki's searing heat. As often as they had fucked, and as long as they had been involved, his lover's sized always seemed new. Fortunately, Nowaki had been worshiping in his alcove so often recently, so he was able to take him in without too much difficulty.

Now that he was ensconced fully in his lover's flesh, Nowaki seemed to calm a bit. He grasped Hiroki's hips pulling him tighter into him. He marveled at the loveliness of his Hiro-san's firm ass. He began moving his hips in slow deep thrusts.

Hiroki writhed in passion beneath him, pushing back to meet each plunge.

As Nowaki found his rhythm, he moved one of his hands down to take hold of Hiroki's dripping erection. His fingers grazed its sensitive tip; he used Hiroki's own fluids to grease its length; he began stoking it in time with his own movements. Nowaki took his other hand and wrapped it in Hiroki's wild auburn locks. He pulled Hiroki's head back and caught his lover's lusciously large, startled eyes in the mirror in front of them.

"Look at me Hiro-san, I want to watch you cum," was his whispered command.

As much as he wanted to look away, Hiroki found that he could not break free from Nowaki's gaze. He was drowning in the blue oceans of the younger man's eyes: Nowaki was truly beautiful in his lust.

"Please, Nowaki…"

Nowaki, smiled, the particular tone he heard now in Hiro-san's voice existed nowhere else in the world but in these moments of intimacy. Nowaki increased his speed, he knew he should go more slowly for Hiro-san's sake, but he just couldn't hold himself back any longer.

His lover's rapid thrusts brought tears of intermingled pain and pleasure to Hiroki's eyes. Within moments hiss dick erupted, shooting jets of cum onto the porcelain basin in front of him.

As he throbbed in his climax, the muscles encircling Nowaki clenched, driving the other man over the edge of his own ecstasy.

Hiroki could feel, the substance of his lover filling him. The hot sap of Nowaki's release soon dripped down the back of his thighs. As he began to pull away, Hiroki found himself pulled back into the giant's iron grasp.

Nowaki wrapped his long arms over Hiroki's and covered the other man's hands. He pulled his Hiro-san back into him and held him there impaled on his relaxing member.

Hiroki ceased his struggles, and instead allowed himself to bask in the comforting weight of the man pressing behind him. He felt the glorious synchronicity, as their labored breathing aligned itself with each other.

Nowaki rested his sweaty brow in the curve of Hiroki's neck. "_They collapsed together, wonderfully filled, simultaneously spent_." He murmured blissfully into Hiroki's ear.

Hiroki shifted his shoulders and turned his head back, resting his cheek against Nowaki's still bruised forehead, fighting not to smile. "You know, if the doctor thing doesn't work out for you, you could always consider becoming a novelist."

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading (or re-reading) and please review!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3: Pandasan Omake

**Chapter 3: Chapter 3: Pandasan Omake**

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><p><strong>Getting It On At Pandasan<strong>

**Chapter Three: Pandasan Omake**

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><p>The ladies of Pandasan were giddy. They were flush with anticipation and celebrating the release of Akikawa Yayoi's newest Boy's Love novel, "Family Matters."<p>

The entire female staff had joined together after closing: they were on a mission. One of the ladies had a friend who worked in the BL section of a nearby bookstore. She'd promised to set aside a carton of the novels especially for the Pandasan's employees.

Unfortunately, when they reached the bookstore, the friend was nowhere to be found.

As the women began to panic, a beautiful man emerged from one of the bookstore's aisles. He was working on the most glittery display for a new shoujo manga release that the women had ever seen. It was so sparkly, though not nearly as sparkly as the man himself.

"Good evening, I'm Yukina. How can I be of service to you ladies?"

At the sound of his voice, several women whipped out Kleenex, anticipating the impending nosebleed. Their minds overrun with naughty images on the possibilities of the word "service."

"Oh my god!" exclaimed the mop girl in a thrilled whisper to her hallway cohort. "If Kusama-san and Kamijou-san ever had a love child, Yukina-san is exactly what it would look like!"

Yukina helped the trembling ladies locate the carton of novels and make their purchases. The women retreated, blushing, as quickly away as possible, once their transactions were completed.

_I wonder what women see in these things anyway?_

Yukina began idly flipping through one. His eyes skimmed a few sentences and his brow rose.

"Hmmm."

Given the way he'd been feeling about that cute editor Kisa, he'd recently met, Yukina thought maybe he should charge this to his employee account and take it home for research.

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><p>Safely away from prying eyes, seated in a karaoke room at a nearby bar, the women sat. Each had stuffed both nostrils with tissue as a precaution.<p>

"All together now, on the count of three…" the mop girl cried. "One… two… three!"

Simultaneously the girls opened their books; skimmed the table of contents; and turned to the same page:

_Chapter Eight: Getting it on at Koalasan_

_While the main dining room of the Koalasan family restaurant was rated "G," Nowaki and Hiroki were doing their best to turn the rating of the establishment's men's room to "XXX."_

The fangirls' squeals were reportedly heard as far away as eight city blocks .

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading (re-reading). I hope you enjoyed my first lemon. Reviews are always welcome.<strong>

**Sincerely,**

**Cerberus**


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